I saw the title “The Best Worst Year” in the New York Times – it appeared as a part of their annual “Best Of” series, where they look back on the best of each year, collating lists and rankings, and reflecting overall on our triumphs and follies over the past 12 months.

It struck a note with me because in the last few weeks, so many people have told me just how eager they are to see this year over and done with. And I don’t doubt it has been a terrible, terrible year.

For many, it was just the absolute worst. People lost jobs and livelihoods. Family members lost and continue to grieve dear loved ones. Frontline workers are overwhelmed and were overcome. Individuals had to confront feelings of isolation, loneliness and sometimes despair. Our daily way of life has completely changed. Our societal systems – that we once thought were our safety nets – have been tested and revealed serious failures. We no longer are able to share simple acts of physical affection with each other without wondering about the risks to our safety and health.

I recognize that well-meaning platitudes cannot make these very real and devastating things go away.

But.

In a lot of ways, I have also had people tell me that it was one of the best years they’ve experienced. That this year was a reckoning for them in so many significant ways. It was a giant pause button on their lives – one that maybe they had not realized they had secretly yearned for. For some, it gave them a chance to take a breath and reflect upon the elements of their lives – their professions and careers, their relationships, and their trajectories or purpose in life. It allowed for some to make those choices that they had previously been too consumed with fear to make – their hand being either forced or freed by the strange circumstances of this pandemic. Others began to view things with more clarity – the state of the world offering up a prism through which they could see a new perspective, a new path. And even some have also discovered – and acted on – their commitment to racial and social justice and a burning desire for change in the world.

But most importantly, this year has shone a light on ourselves. It has brought a scrutiny of our values and our actions to light. Personal reflection – whether we wanted it to or not – has been either a source of sorrow or delight – a call to courage and change, or a deep burrowing back into old habits. But either way, we have not been able to hide from our own realizations of our selves and where we are at, especially during these difficult times. It has revealed to us the truth of ourselves – our authenticity, our vulnerability, our need for community, and especially, our humanity.

So, as this worst/best year comes to a close, I urge you to remember that the darkest times often help to illuminate the best of you. That strength is discovered only by journeying through hardship. That the New Year is not a new start but rather an evolution – of you and your ability to persevere. Moving forward takes more than a `good riddance’ or the minutes of a clock turning to midnight. It requires an acknowledgement of your past and current struggle, an acceptance of an uncertain future, and a commitment to your own, so very bright and continually unfolding, journey.